We have been trying to decide what we should do when we travel to Vietnam to bring our child home. We really cannot imagine leaving our other 2 children (who will be age 7.5 & 5 by then I'm guessing) at home for 3 wks while we travel the world. I think it would be really hard for them, but probably even harder for us. I've left them for up to a week before but my husband was always home to be with them... same with when he goes away - I am there. As much as they are independent little people - having to miss us for 3 wks in a row seems a bit harsh.
So the dilemma is deciding whether they come with us to Vietnam. It would undoubtedly be an amazing experience and a wonderful learning experience too. Anytime a child can see a different part of the world and learn different cultures, geography, etc it is a good thing. More importantly, they will be with us to welcome their new sibling into our family... that is a big deal for them - not just Mom and Daddy. The flight would be very difficult for them - 20 hrs approximately I think. Also, I'm not sure what all there is for them to 'play' in Vietnam. We'd have to get resourceful and research what to do to keep them busy.
My mother has excitedly offered to travel with us and look after Keaton & Chloe for all the times we will be busy at appointments, and enjoying time with our young baby. I wouldn't even consider doing it without my mom. I know that it is going to be a huge adjustment for our child and he/she may be very needy, scared, etc at first. The baby will have to be our number one priority while traveling and so having Mom there would be a big necessity and God send.
So, I guess I'm posing the question to anyone reading that has an opinion or experience with this. Have you travelled with your older children when adopting overseas? If you did not, I'd love to hear your side too. We are finding it hard to decide what to do.
If we do not take K & C with us, my mother has offered to take a leave of absence from work to stay with the kids for 3 wks so they can sleep and live at home. This is a huge blessing and definetly puts my mind at ease should we decide to go without them to VN. Knowing they can go to school from our house and be comfortable at 'home' is great.
Undecided. I guess we have some time to figure it out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I haven't faced this situation myself but have read of many who have. Some choose to leave their children at home (normally 2 weeks in China rather than 3 which is a big difference) but many have chosen to take them too.
I'd have to say that of those who have taken them with them, I have not heard of a single case where they wish they had done it differently, especially when they have the much needed and appreciated help of someone like your mom.
Hope others can help you out more but for what it's worth I think it would be the opportunity of a lifetime for all of you to spend this time together. If I was able I'd take my 8yo niece with me to China but I think it would be too much to ask of my parents.
Another thing I've heard is that it's often easier for the new baby to adjust when there are other children along.
Looking forward to hearing from those who have BTDT.
Just incase you decide to take the kids, I have family in Vietnam and they know lots of things that would undoubtly keep kids entertained and give them more memories that they won't forget. - Anna B.
Ok now you know this is a long way off for us, but we will be in the same situation. what we are thinking of doing is taking my mom and the kids for the first week, then sending them home for the last week/two weeks. That way, they get to experience Vietnam and see where their new sibling was born, etc and help welcome the new baby, be a part of the whole adoption, etc.. and also, we won't be gone away from them that long...but then after they leave, we will have time to bond with the baby and really be able to focus on the baby once we have her/him for the rest of the trip.
We will be taking our 6-yr. old with us, and leaving our almost 4-yr. old. Although he is doing great, he has some special health needs and I wouldn't want to deal with a crisis in Vn. It will be very difficult to leave him, but he will be with my mom who he is really close to.
The blogs I have read where the siblings go really inspired me to take M. I think it is just a priceless experience, esp. if you have your mom to help.
Post a Comment