...so a couple weeks ago I got some new information from our agency. Anyone waiting for a referral knows that information is GOLD... anything new you can hold on to means something!
I'm finding the waiting difficult, for the most part because I feel how uncertain things in International Adoption can be and I've invested my heart. With adoption in Vietnam it is not centralized and there are so many uncertainties along the way, I'm finding I feel lost in it all at times.
We are approximately the 13th family on the 'list' with our agency awaiting a girl referral. That sounds so good to me. 13 is not that many, and unlike many 13 is a good number to me - my husband and my son's birthdays both fall on the 13th of a month. So, we wait. We hope and we pray. We think of her a lot but do not talk about her much at the moment, there is too much time still ahead and for some reason I find myself distancing myself a bit, even though I don't want to. I suppose it is a protective measure while we wait what we've been told is likely to be another 5-8 months for a referral. In the grand scheme of things, that is not so long away, is it? I think my uneasiness comes from the good chance of that wait time extending past 5-8 months. Whoever said that 'the only certain thing about IA is how uncertain it can feel' knew what they were talking about. I'm going to have to learn to cope better. Patience was never my strong point.
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7 comments:
I don't think that number 13 is all that bad. It wasn't that long ago that you were on the "waiting to wait" list.
The wait is horrible.period. if you find a miracle cure for that, please pass it on ;)
Sometimes you just have to break down the timelines. Hubby & i celebrate each DTV month anniversary with going out on a date. It gives us something to look forward to, & congratulate ourselves on being one month closer.
13 is Aaron and I's favoite number we each were born on the 13th and have many family members also born on the 13th! We think of it as lucky! And hopefully the wait will go faster than you think!
I'm sure 5- 8 months will seem like a lifetime... but just think.. 5-8 months is next may -aug!! next summer!! I don't know (yet) how hard this is, but just hang in there, girlie!! Wish I was there to distract you and to hang out and have fun with you!! Hey, why don't we meet up in California in Feb. to hang out?? ;-) you better be there!!
last night adison came to me and said... chloe is getting a new baby sister you know... and i said... yes i know... and then she said, with a really sad face... because that baby doesn't have a mommy.... and i said... yes she does, her mommy is leslie; they just haven't met eachother yet:)
this seemed to perk her up!
It's times like these where I turn my focus to the birthmother. Your baby is alive in a woman's body who may be sad, struggling, hurting or confused. I think about HER and pray for HER in hopes that she feels peace in her heart and a feeling of the love that you will be able to give. That helps me deal -- maybe it will help you as you endure the wait. I pray for you too. Many good things in 2008 are ahead...that is exciting. Regards, Sara
I'm so glad you got SOME news! Like you said, any news is gold! 13 is good...it doesn't seem that far away. Next you'll be 12, then 11...and so on. Before you know it, it will be YOUR turn and at that point it will have been worth the wait! You're strong, you're family is strong...you can do it! Each day is one day closure....
13 is a lucky number for me too. It sounds like you don't have much longer to wait :)
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